For years, my typical reaction to life was negative. I would see the fault in any situation and ignore the positive. My stress level was sky-high, and I lived expecting bad things to happen. Even when things went well, I would doubt that it would last and would assume things would end poorly.

My parents went through some challenges, and life was not easy for them. With my parents as my role models, I grew up thinking that I didn’t have a choice. I thought this is how it’s supposed to be: life is tough. You work hard to survive, and it usually ends badly. Wow. What a misguided illusion I lived!

Often, we grow up with tough circumstances, picking up negative energy from our parents and other family members. In some families, negativity is passed from one generation to another. But when we view the world through a negative lens, we attract more negativity to our lives. After all: energy attracts like energy.

If you carry negativity from your past, it might be the reason why you aren’t enjoying life to the fullest. It is not that negative situations are chasing you. It’s simply you allowing your past to define your present.

What you focus on grows. If you focus on fear and doubt, you invite more fear and doubt into your life. When you shift your focus to more positive emotions, things start falling into place.

In her book, A Guide to Getting It: Self-Esteem, Laura?A.?Davis?explores the Wallenda Principle.

The Wallenda family was renowned for their spectacular circus acts comprised of acrobatics and tight-rope walking. The head of the family, Karl Wallenda, was famous for his death-defying tightrope walks between high buildings and over Niagara Falls without a net. He fell to his death in his 70?s while tight-rope walking between two tall buildings in Puerto Rico. What was it about this walk that sent him to his death?

When asked, his widow replied, “All of his life, Karl had focused on success. He focused on his vision of getting to the other side of the rope without fear. In the last year or so, he has focused his energies on not falling.”

Something big changed in his focus.

Is fear getting in your way of living life to the fullest, allowing love to be your guide? Shift your focus, stop paying attention to what you don’t want and start paying attention to what you do want.

Looking back on my journey, when it became clear to me that I was habitually inviting more negativity into my life, I knew I wanted to change, but I didn’t know how. The turning point was when I stopped trying to do it by myself and I reached out for help. Just putting it out there that ?I’m tired of being drawn into negativity and I want to create a more positive life? was like magic. Opportunities started coming my way.

The first step is finding an external source to help you transform your patterned negative reaction into a positive one.

Coaching is an inside-out process, where the coach helps you step back from participating in life and gets you into an observant state where you can evaluate and correct. But in order to get the support you need, you need to take an ?external? action and hire a professional to hold your hand during this process of transformation.

The second step is creating a daily practice of mindfulness which helps you to focus on the present moment and be fully in the now.

Back to my journey ? in addition to starting to work with a coach, I developed a daily practice of mindfulness. It’s a way of breaking out of your habitual behaviors and thought patterns, a way of turning off the autopilot. My daily practice consists of Self-Reiki and Meditation. It is simple; it can be done anytime and anywhere. It might be a different practice for you, maybe yoga or walking in nature. It doesn’t matter how you do it as long as you do something mindful every day. Every moment you spend being mindful will lead to more mindfulness in the future, and ultimately a happier and more fulfilling life.

How do you want to live your life? In fear or in love? Is it time for things to start falling into place for you?

If you’re ready to release negativity and create a more positive life, attracting what you want rather than what you don’t want, take the first step: take an external action and find someone to help you with the tough inner work.

Change your focus, change your life.

I would love to support you and help you change your life. Please share your thoughts and questions, and let’s start a conversation.