“I am angry and afraid to interact with people around me because they literally suck the life out of me with no regard. It’s hard to turn my back on people. I always put others before me. I always feel bad if I want something for myself, and I am constantly approached by friends, family, and strangers with problems and pain that I immediately feel that I should be able to fix. I have been told by many that I am too nice and should be more selfish. I realize that, but it does feel wrong not to help others. I have been made to feel that the hope I have for humanity is a ridiculous pipe dream.”
I received this note from Amy, an empath, a sensitive soul who was seeking help. I directed Amy to the resources for empaths I created so she can learn tools that can help her feel better. Her note made me think about other women who struggle to find peace and live life from a place of joy.
Many of them have gone through different classes, programs and workshops; read books; and gotten support. Some of them are overloaded with tools. And yet, the tools are not always enough.
What might stop you from thriving, even when you are using the tools?
You have some beliefs that are getting in your way. Your subconscious beliefs can totally sabotage your efforts to get better, even though you’re not aware of them.
Our nature is only to invest energy and be “all in” with our desires if we believe that we can be successful.
You can clear your energy, ground yourself, set emotional boundaries, and use other tools I describe in this post, “How to Stop Absorbing Other People’s Negativity Like a Sponge,” but if the story you keep telling yourself is that you’re going to get ill after interacting with this one person, you probably will.
“The only thing that’s keeping you from getting what you want is the story you keep telling yourself.” –Tony Robbins
It’s essential to recognize your internal beliefs because once you acknowledge them, you can start reframing and changing your beliefs to ones that support your heart’s desires.
Back to Amy, who sent me the note. If you read her words carefully, you can identify almost all the beliefs I include in this list below. Let me help you, like I helped Amy, to admit your beliefs.
What beliefs sabotage you and keep you from thriving when you are an empath?
“To help others heal, I have to take on their pain.”
If you believe subconsciously that you can only help others by taking on their pain, you can easily get lost in the emotional rollercoaster. One of your challenges, if you are an empath, is knowing which feelings are your own and which belong to others.
If this is one of your beliefs, where is it coming from?
Who taught you to believe that this is true?
What might be a more supportive belief?
“It’s my duty to rescue others.”
Being a natural giver and having a lot of empathy towards others leads to an automatic behavior: you step into the role of the rescuer or the fixer without even thinking about it. On a spiritual level, by fixing or rescuing, you are preventing the other person from finding their way and walking their spiritual path. You are enabling them. What might be a better role for you? How can you be there for them, show up for them, while empowering them to accept responsibility for their lives?
If this is one of your beliefs, where is it coming from?
Who taught you to believe that this is true?
What might be a more supportive belief?
“Sensitive people are weak.”
Ever since you were born, people have told you that you’re too weak, too sensitive, that you need to stop crying and to develop a thicker skin. You started to believe that something is wrong with you. You got used to numbing or escaping your emotions. Empaths and sensitive souls are a gift to humanity. The planet needs our sensitivity, our caring, our kindness, our compassion, our intuition, our creativity, and our ability to raise vibration.
If this is one of your beliefs, where is it coming from?
Who taught you to believe that this is true?
What might be a more supportive belief?
“The only way to recover from overstimulation is to hide.”
There is nothing wrong with crashing. There is nothing wrong with retreating after spending time with certain people or big crowds. But isolating and disconnecting won’t always help you recharge your internal batteries. There are many ways to restore, but you need to be smart and spend your time alone filling yourself up and enriching your soul—hiding is not the best way. Since I found Reiki in 1996, I give Reiki to myself every time I need to recharge. Treating myself with Reiki allows me to clear emotions and negativity that don’t being to me and boost my body with pure, positive energy. If you’re curious to know more about Reiki, read my post, “Can Reiki Help You?” What have you done in the past that helped you fill up your cup and feel better?
If this is one of your beliefs, where is it coming from?
Who taught you to believe that this is true?
What might be a more supportive belief?
“The road to true healing goes through self-sacrifice.
When you look at self-sacrifice from a higher perspective, you will realize that you have learned to play the victim role. You have learned to allow other people and situations to steal away your joy. It is time to stop putting other people’s needs and feelings ahead of your needs, even if you disappoint them. It is time to stop calling your dad, your aunt, or that one friend every day if you end the conversation miserable and drained. It is time to set a boundary and limit the conversation with your colleague who always dumps her pain on you. Being in true service and self-sacrificing do not go hand in hand together.
If this is one of your beliefs, where is it coming from?
Who taught you to believe that this is true?
What might be a more supportive belief?
“Saying no is selfish.”
We have been programmed to believe that setting boundaries is selfish. Many empaths are also people pleasers. They crave love and approval. They say “yes” simply because they want the other person to like them. Neglect of their own needs is often the result. Can you really be in service and enjoy life if you make other people’s needs more important than yours?
If this is one of your beliefs, where is it coming from?
Who taught you to believe that this is true?
What might be a more supportive belief?
If you continue to project your old, limiting beliefs, you invite people, situations, and interactions that match these beliefs. It takes courage to get honest about your internal beliefs, but once you are aware, you can start shifting.
Raising awareness around your internal beliefs is the first step to freedom and liberation from old programming and conditioning that doesn’t serve you in the present moment.
The world needs your sensitivity. The planet needs your gifts. It is time to break free.
What old beliefs are you ready to address? Let me know in the comments.
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