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How to Embrace the Darkness in Your Life

by | Create a Turning Point

I had an “aha” moment the other day that I want to share it with you.

After a week of being in deep conversations with women, I noticed that when women speak from their hearts, a lot of pain and burden is expressed. These women, and maybe you, need a reminder and a little bit of encouragement to bring some lightness into the conversation so they don’t stay stuck with heavy feelings.

It made me think about the natural attraction that many of us have to suffering and pain, and it made me wonder, why does it feel safer to stay in the dark? Is it because darkness is more familiar and the thought of lightening up is strange and unknown for us? Is darkness an easier place to be in than light? It felt like the right time to reflect a little bit on why and how to embrace the darkness.

It was a beautiful night when I was pondering these thoughts in my head. I took a minute to pause and look at the sky. I noticed one evening that the evening sky is absolutely beautiful, so I spent few minutes just looking at the dark sky.

And then it hit me:

When you look at the dark sky at night, you see the stars, which are thousands of light years away from you. The darkness can feel very overwhelming and you might feel as small as the faraway stars, but there is something else that is really important for us to remember. At some point, every day, the darkness is slowly shifting into light, the moon and the stars keep traveling, and the sun rises and night turns into day.

This transition from darkness to light seems to be effortless and natural on the planet. Why can’t it be as easy for us to transform darkness to light in our lives?

Just like in nature, we can transform our darkness to light with ease and serenity.

But here is what we must do first:

We must accept, embrace, and own the darkness as a healthy part of our lives.

I wouldn’t be where I am today if I didn’t embrace the darkness.

I’ve been pregnant 8 times. I have 2 wonderful children. Six of my pregnancies ended in the 6th or 7th month of the pregnancy. I went into early labor and a few of my labor experiences were very traumatic. I was on bed rest or in the hospital for almost 10 years while going through the pregnancies. I ended up being depressed, and every time I lost a baby, the grief in my heart became heavier and heavier. I couldn’t handle the grief. Being in my dark place led me to Reiki. I had to find a way to heal my broken heart. And I did!

Hours and hours of therapy made me aware of what I was feeling, but the heaviness in my heart only started to lift when I found my spiritual and healing practice and allowed true healing to begin.

I learned how to embrace the darkness.

I learned to give purpose to my personal darkness.

Fast-forward 21 years later.

I continue to create a delicate dance between darkness and light, reminding myself that darkness and light go together, and true healing happens when we accept the darkness as part of the process.

Do I have some ideas about transforming darkness to light? Oh, yeah! I have plenty of ideas, but I am not going to share them with you today.

First, I want you to spend some time making friends with the darkness and become willing to keep dancing with me on this journey from darkness to light.

A word of wisdom:

Sitting with darkness is valuable, as long as we are able to find hope and give it purpose.

Living the happy, free life you are meant to live might feel light years away, but finding hope and purpose to the darkness will lead you there.

I invite you to spend some time looking at the sky, paying attention to the stars, the moon, the natural cycle of transitioning from day to night and from night to day.

What are you learning about your own personal journey from darkness to light?

What dark parts of your life are you ready to embrace?

What is your personal experience with darkness and light?

Please share your light by posting in the comments area. Let’s take this journey from darkness to light together, without fear.

19 Comments

  1. Lalla Wilson

    Michal, Thank you, thank you, I really needed this. I’ve bee going through a lot.
    Love you much,
    Lalla

    Reply
    • Michal

      Thank you, Lala! I’m here for you,my dear. Reach out if you need professional support!

      Reply
      • whizkidliz

        My family suffered a terrible tragedy that has been an open wound for 2 years… I finally heard the phrase, “Embrace that darkness” which Im now understanding to mean, “Embrace your life”

        Reply
  2. Liz

    Thank you for this deeply personal and inspiring post, Michal.

    Reply
    • Michal

      Thank you, Liz!

      Reply
  3. Natasha

    I have found that when I am in a dark place, I do best by staying in the darkest corner and waiting until I can really feel what I am feeling. I can’t see the light until I get cozy enough in the darkness (although it doesn’t feel cozy at all). It’s almost like backing myself into a dark corner until I feel safe that there is no more darkness behind or to the side of me, then I can safely look forward to the light and make my way back out.

    Reply
    • Michal

      It takes courage to stay in the dark corner, Natasha. The challenge is that when we stay there for too long we might get depressed. That’s why we have self-care practices, to help us uplift ourselves if the darkness starts to take over. You are absolutely right- we need to allow ourselves to stay in the dark for a while- that’s what healing looks like!

      Reply
  4. Joan Lyons

    Thank you Michal,
    “I continue to create a delicate dance between darkness and light, reminding myself that darkness and light go together, and true healing happens when we accept the darkness as part of the process.” You broke the code to accepting the dark and light. “Except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone: but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit, (Jn 12″24).” Some faith traditions call it creative suffering; no resurrection without a crucifixion. Be blessed

    Reply
    • Michal

      Thanks for taking the time sharing your perspective, Joan. It’s interesting that you use the word suffering. The coaching school I did my training with, IPec, has as one of their foundation principles “pain is inevitable, suffering is optional”. I believe that we can choose when to stop suffer and our spiritua connection helps us know when is divine timing for that!

      Reply
  5. Bev

    Beautiful message, Michal. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself with us. Darkness teaching me how to appreciate the light moments. Moving has been a dark experience for me this time but I’m starting to see some light! But I had to look for that light and chance my focus.

    Reply
    • Michal

      Thank you for bringing appreciation into this conversation, Bev! Appreciation is a key factor in the process of exploring dark moments because it helps us shift energy and see the light. Your journey is a living example the journey from darkness to light!

      Reply
  6. Juliet Blake

    This is so beautiful, and something I totally agree with. Thank you for sharing your story, Michal. It is very poignant and special…as are you. Much love.

    Reply
    • Michal

      Lots of love, Juliet. It feels so good to share this journey with you. We’re in this together.

      Reply
  7. Lesia

    Thank you for a beautiful message !

    Reply
    • Michal

      Thanks for writing, Lesia!

      Reply
  8. Mary

    About 10 years ago I experienced something very damaging and painful. The situation lasted about 5 years. Before I’m completely awake in the morning that pain, suffering, guilt, and broken heart wash over me again and again. I can take my mind away during the day, but during sleep this pain still plagues me. How can I get rid of this suffering?

    Reply
    • Michal

      This is an interesting question, Mary. I’m curious to know if you got any professional support and what inner work have you done. it will be valuable to do some work around the benefit and cost of holding on to the suffering. I sent you a personal email and you can also email me at info@balancedmoments.com. Thanks for having the courage to post your question. I would love to help you!

      Reply
  9. Retha Thomas

    My healing journey started with meditation almost 5 years ago, at a point in my life where I was desperate for healing, when my body was fighting against itself, and was in self destruct. Little did I know how my life would change forever, and how much joy and peace would enter my heart and life through self awareness, and meditation. My twin sister and I were adopted at the age of 6, the nightmare we both survived through has haunted me all throughout my life, I am so eternally grateful for the healing that has occurred already. The last couple of months I?ve struggled with the darkest parts of me, that scared little lost girl within me is begging me to embrace that darkness, and to love myself unconditionally. I wanted to thank you for this post, I as well had a huge AHA moment!!

    Reply
  10. Michal Spiegelman

    Retha – wow! thank you for making yourself vulnerable and sharing your story. What a testimonial of true courage! Bringing purpose to your past pain is not easy but it worth the effort. I hope that you are able to love yourself and your inner-child unconditionally. Please reach out to me if you need my support.

    Reply

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