Let go of guilt and taking on too much responsibility.

Women take on a lot of responsibilities. Wanting to care for others becomes over-protecting, over-controlling, over-thinking, over-worrying. The result: these women find themselves trapped, frustrated and disappointed.

One of my life-coaching clients, let’s call her Debbie, had an “aha moment” this week when she was actually avoiding her life by taking on so much.

For years, most of her energy was invested in helping her children, husband, siblings, parents and even friends. Now, at 50, she realized it all served to avoid becoming who she was meant to be. “I’ve done it since I was 3 years old. That’s the only way I know.”

Whenever she did something for herself, she felt guilty and went back to worrying about other people’s happiness instead of her own.

Debbie decided it’s time to stop. Time to stop avoiding her true life. Her work with me has shown her that she can care for and support her family members while still having energy for her own happiness and success.

If your natural tendency is over-responsibility and guilt, this is the way to change it:

Get into the space of a detached observer.

Pay attention to your behavior, like you are watching the situation from the outside.

Recognize your negative tendency and choose how you really want to react.

Stop letting over responsibility and guilt be an energy drainer. Connect to your true self and focus on making yourself happier while allowing your loved ones to find their way.