I often hear empaths say that people suck the life out of them. They ask me how to stop taking on others’ energy. So I tell them that putting up a protective shield is not the answer to a good life.
Doing so not only means blocking out the “bad” energy but the good vibes too! You cannot be selective. Once you shut down your gift for absorbing energy, you miss out on receiving love, compassion, hope, vibrancy, and joy.
So what is the empath’s secret to a good life?
I want to celebrate a group of sensitive souls who are members of the Thriving Empath Facebook Group for Women I created seven months ago. You might think it is hard to feel a sense of belonging and connection when you are in sisterhood with 1500 other women, but the support and positive engagement that this special community shares is incredible.
I recently asked these women to post their personal secrets to living a good life as an empath. Their answers were so varied and impressive that I wanted to share them with you:
“A quiet room, a cup of coffee, and a good book.”
“Strong, healthy boundaries that are non-negotiable.”
“Protecting your energy.”
“Staying in your power.”
“To live and let live.”
“Reiki/meditation/prayer stepping away emotionally and mentally and realizing where the feeling is coming from.”
“Love yourself and learn how to use the gift of being an empath.”
“Enjoy your knowledge and the knowledge of others.”
“To live with no regrets.”
“No rescuing. We have to learn to let others have their lessons.”
“It’s ok to put myself first. I have finally learned this at 60 yrs old.”
“Making a conscious choice where you put your energy.”
“Clarity and connection.”
“Learning to differentiate what is yours to carry and, more importantly, what is not yours to bear.”
“Trusting your inner wisdom.”
“Connecting with nature and filling up my glass before extending myself to others.”
“Turn phone ringer off at 6 pm every night.”
“Have some fun and laugh daily. Be creative!”
Incredible answers, don’t you think? If you are an empath, and you had to add your own answer, what would it be? What is your secret for living a good life as an empath?
All of these responses represent ways we can support our unique constitution as empaths. Living a good life is a journey, not a destination.
Ultimately, the empath’s secret to a good life is not changing yourself but changing the way you think about yourself.
While I was writing this blog post, my assistant Madeleine shared with me a conversation she had with a woman who was interested in signing up for our Reiki class. The woman’s question might feel familiar to you too.
She asked Madeleine, “How can I shut off the need to help others? How can I shut off the fact that I feel everything? How can I STOP being this way?”
Madeleine responded that not only should it NOT be our goal as empaths to shut down our gifts (because they are just that—gifts!), but that doing so is essentially impossible. We can repress our gifts. We can run away from them. But we can’t make them go away because they are part of how we, as empaths, are wired.
Madeleine explained that a more realistic and positive goal is to learn how to work WITH and SUPPORT our gifts while setting healthy boundaries.
I have to admit that I had a “proud mama” moment when Madeleine told me about her excellent response. I am truly blessed with the best team I can ask for.
Your sensitivity is your gift. You bring to the world sensitivity, creativity, intuition, deep caring, imagination, and empathy. The world needs us: you, me, and other empaths. We need to recognize and own our gifts and the value that we bring to others.
My journey to finding my own secret to a good life as an empath is guided by inner wisdom. I connect with the wise woman within me through my daily Reiki and meditation practices. Every day, every practice brings new clarity and understanding and reveals more and more secrets.
It would be my honor to offer you some guidance. Consider taking a Reiki class with me, and let the healing begin. If you are interested in developing a meditation practice, read my blog post, “If You Want to Stop Taking on the Pain of the World, Meditate. Here is How to Start.”
And if you wish to join the Thriving Empath Facebook Community, we would love to see you there.