Something about Carmen touched my heart from the first moment we spoke. When she shared her story with me, I admired her commitment to her self-discovery process–to leaving her past behind so she could start a new chapter.

She had read all the self-help books and worked really hard on creating a better life for herself. Yet she still was not making the progress she hoped for. She was suffering from personal growth exhaustion.

Maybe you can relate to Carmen. You’ve read books, joined programs, attended workshops, and made a lot of changes, yet you still lack that authentic meaning and joy in your life. As if something is missing.

That’s what I call personal growth exhaustion. It leaves you stuck in a rut, trying to do the same things over and over again, and hoping for better results. You can feel so tired, so depressed, or so hopeless that you no longer have the energy to create sustainable change.

When Carmen chose me as her mentor, I was excited because I had a strong intuition that her life was about to change drastically. Through our work together, Carmen overcame some serious internal blocks and a very loud “not good enough” voice that dominated her life. She learned new ways of showing up in her relationships. She reconnected with her feminine power. She was incredibly invested in doing the inner work. Her life did change tremendously, and when she was ready to fly by herself, she wrote me a letter:

“Having you as my mentor helped give me such a profound insight into the things that were holding me back. I realize that despite all the changes I have gone through in my life I still didn’t know what was keeping me from living the way I want fully. I now live my life more bold, confident and aware of myself. You gave me tools and exercises that challenged me but most importantly put my life in perspective. One thing I know for sure is that self-growth and empowerment do not come easily, no matter how many self-help books you read. I am so grateful that I chose you as my mentor”.

The truth is, beloved, there is no magic bullet for personal growth.

The magic happens when you trust and allow a mentor to guide you and give you the structure you need.

I know because I experienced that magic for myself. My mission from a very early age was to lose weight. I tried every new diet, product, book, and weight loss idea I heard. I played the “yo-yo” game, losing weight and putting it all back on, over and over. I didn’t realize that willpower was not enough to help me succeed until I finally discovered in my 40s that I suffered from food addiction. Finding the right program, structure, and mentor became my turning point. I have successfully maintained a nearly 90-pound weight loss for more than 13 years. I wouldn’t be able to do it by myself. I have a strong, solid foundation of support and accountability.

When I look back at my life and the many women whose lives I have helped transform, I see this pattern clearly:

In difficult times, you can either accept responsibility for your life or be the victim of it.

Taking complete ownership for creating the life you want to live requires courage. Courage to admit you can’t always do it on your own.

Playing the blame game won’t help you either. It only nurtures your inner victim. Personal accountability is essential for shifting from victimhood to empowerment, but sometimes that means you have to change your game plan.

Get honest with yourself, beloved:

• Are you suffering from personal growth exhaustion?
• Are you accepting responsibility or allowing yourself to be a victim?
• Are you ready for some structure and accountability?

Energetically yours,

Michal Spiegelman