When we do the inner work and work on our personal growth something interesting happens.
We experience more setbacks.
We take one step forward and two steps back.
We start to doubt if we’re even growing.
One of the most common “aha moment” people experience in my classes and workshops happens when I walk to the board and draw a simple spiral, like the one you see in the image. Once they understand the meaning of this image, the magic happens! Keep reading and you’ll understand too.
Let’s take Jennifer, for example. Jennifer attended a recent “Standing in Your Power” event because she felt stuck in an unhappy relationship. She tried therapy, couple’s counseling, nothing helped. She knew that this relationship was not healthy for her, but she couldn’t walk away. What became clear to her throughout the day, was that the main thing that prevented her from moving forward was feeling like she failed. Her thoughts were “I’ve failed creating a successful relationship”, “I’ve failed leaving the relationship”. She felt stuck and didn’t know that she must fail in order to succeed.
Jennifer is not the only one. Many women I work with, who are driven and have big ambitions fail on their way to success. Many of the moms I work with, feel they are failures at being moms, until they reach a point where they understand they must fail (or at least feel like they fail) on their quest to becoming the best moms they can be. Women can feel like failures in their personal and professional life.
What picture do you see in your head when I say, “personal growth”?
The one mistake many people make is that they see personal growth as a straight line. When it comes to personal growth, people picture a basic graph with an x-axis, a y-axis, and a line proceeding up and to the right.
When you see your personal growth process as a straight line, any deviation will be interpreted as a failure. If this picture came to mind when I asked you the question above, challenge yourself and change the image.
Change the picture.
Growth and change are not a straight-line process.
Personal growth is a spiral-line and each spiral leads to the next one.
Look at the spiral for a minute: even when you are in the middle of the spiral and when you have a moment of dropping down to the lowest point of the spiral, the lowest point is still higher than the previous spiral.
The reason why you must fail on your way to success is that every time you fail, you actually prepare yourself for taking the next step in your spiritual journey.
People who do the inner work and step out of their comfort zone fail.
People who stay safe in their little cocoon and afraid to take risks – fail less.
It takes courage to fail. Every failure is an opportunity to grow more.
When was a time in your life, when you felt like a failure, but now, looking back, you know that failing was a must and it actually led you to your next success?
Remember Jennifer, who came to my workshop feeling stuck in an unhealthy relationship?
She almost jumped out of her chair when she saw the spiral on the board and understood its meaning. She no longer saw herself as a failure, but realized she has what she needs to be brave and take the next big step. After years of feeling stuck, she broke free and left the relationship.
If you or a woman you know might benefit from standing in her power and shifting from feeling stuck to making the change she’s longing for, please accept my invitation and join one of my programs. And thank you in advance, for making a difference in other women’s lives and sharing this article with them.
It’s time for women to understand they must fail on their way to success!