My 24-year-old daughter is attending college thousands of miles away. For the last six years, I have only seen her two or three times a year. I’m a proud mom, and I enjoy watching my ?baby? become a woman, but I always feel some sadness when we send her off with hugs and kisses.?Normally, after dropping her at the airport, I go straight home and bury myself in my work. But after her most recent visit, I fought my typical tendency and allowed myself to rest and reflect so that I could connect with my feelings before rushing into the remainder of my day.
Treating my body with self-reiki and meditation, listening to music that spoke to my heart, and relaxing in bed, I began to think about the lessons I wanted to share with her?and also, beloved, with you…
Lessons for Life: A letter to My Daughter as She Becomes a Young Woman
Each day, life offers us new lessons to carry with us into the future. Some are harder to learn than others. But each is worthy of our attention?
On loving yourself:
You are beautiful. You are kind. You are wise. You are creative. You are capable. This is who you are, period, and you are worthy and lovable because of it, regardless of what you do. Everything else is only a distraction, an illusion, or a mask.
On loving others:
When we share our lives with a partner, it’s okay and necessary to love ourselves first because we can only love others when we love ourselves. Just like me, your calling is to help others. But focus foremost on self-love. Always leave room for YOU in every relationship you create.
On feeling:
I invite you to recognize, own, and feel exactly how you feel at all times. Feeling two extreme emotions at the same time is totally okay. As a woman who numbed her emotions for years, I know how important it is to connect with them. The sense of pride and joy I feel as I watch you grow is always mixed with feelings of sadness and loss. I have learned to accept it all.
On confusion and feeling lost:
There are moments in life where we feel confused, and we lose direction. Confusion is the best teacher. Look for the stars that shine the brightest, and let them show you the way. Never go so far that you can’t find your way back.
On freedom:
We are free. We can think what we want, believe what we want, feel what we feel, and do only as we desire. We truly have a choice. Even when we think we don’t. And sometimes we must use our freedom to say NO so that we have other opportunities to say YES.
On saying ?I love you?:
?Thank you,? ?I’m sorry,? and ?I love you? are transformative expressions, especially when you speak from your heart, mean it, and reflect it with your actions.
On self-doubt:
At any given moment, you are doing the best you can (and so are other people!) Maybe later you’ll realize you could have done better. Learn from that opportunity so you can improve the next time. But being hard on yourself is useless.
On being perfect:
The best gift we can give ourselves is the permission to be human and imperfect. It took me years of striving for perfection to realize this truth. My wish is that you will understand it earlier than me.
On living in your body:
Our bodies always know before we do. Our bodies tells us?if we only listen. Thinking does not connect us to our bodies; feeling does. Listen to your body, and let it tell you which areas of your life need your attention.
On victimhood and self-sacrifice:
Victimhood and self-sacrifice are learned. I know for sure that my mother and my grandmother played the victim role at different times in their lives. I do my best to break the generational pattern and step into my feminine power. I trust that you too are embracing your leadership role?your responsibility?as a woman.
On creativity:
You are a creative being. Don’t let adulthood get in your way. Feed the artist inside you, and always make time for wonder, curiosity, and exploration. It will make life juicy and fun.
On the messiness of life:
When life gets messy, and we are triggered, we default to reactions that may no longer serve us. Doing the inner work for years has taught me to shift my perspective. My hope is that you will always remember, no matter what, that to truly heal, we must embrace both the darkness and the light. In learning to fall, we learn how to rise.
Download a free copy of the Lessons for Life PDF.
Use it for yourself, or pass it along to someone you love.
What wisdom have you earned over the years that you think is important to pass on?
Share it with us in the comments below!
I will share this with my daughter and Hold on to it for those times I need a reminder, some encouragement, or some support.
Your daughter is fortunate to have this letter written to her. It?s beautiful.
Thank you, Rebecca! It was great seeing you yesterday in the Reiki Class. You are on a journey of personal growth and self-discovery and your journey is a gift not only to you but also to your daughter.