You can’t control other people, but you can control your reactions to what they do.
No matter how many times we hear this, we still want to fix other people! It happens to me too.
It happens because we care so much about them. Even if we want to fix them because they piss us off? we wouldn’t be dealing with them at all if we didn’t care, right?
The problem with this tendency is that we spend all this energy on the problems we imagine or perceive in others instead of investing the time and energy in ourselves. Often they don’t want our help anyway! It’s better to support others in their journey instead of trying to control it for them!
So how do we stop this tendency to try to fix others?
Awareness is the first step. Notice when the tendency to fix arises and recognize it for what it is. Here’s something else you can do to to help:
Keep a “fix it” journal. Every time you want to fix someone, write it down in your journal instead. It will help you to release the energy and feel more in control.
Write down: ??I wish Norman would lose the weight he gained. I can’t stand it anymore.” or maybe “She needs to stop being so anxious, it destroys her health.”
The Bottom Line: Wanting to fix others drains your energy.
Ask: What do I want to fix? Write it down.
Affirm: I write down what I want to fix in others. I support others on their journey.