One of the biggest differences in my current life, living my purpose and helping other people live theirs, is who is in my village, who are the people that make up my support team. I learned that my old village was no longer serving me and I needed to upgrade, like a house that I?d outgrown.
Part of that learning process involved looking at my life and seeing that I had a lack of support. Trying to do everything by myself and pushing myself to work harder were two of my old behaviors.? Life challenge and personal crisis forced me to finally get some help. I used to think that it was easier to do things myself than to train somebody else or to ask for assistance. And I’m talking both personally and professionally.
The price I paid was high: Not only did I throw myself off balance with these old behaviors, I also stunted the natural rhythm of my creativity and personal growth.? I couldn’t get ?in the flow.?
False belief: Doing things yourself is easier than letting others help you.
While I finally learned (the hard way) that it is healthier for me to accept help, I still clung to the belief that support is something I should grab only from my family and friends. Doesn’t it make sense to expect them to be there for me just like I will be there for them?
False Belief: Immediate family and friends are the best support group out there.
It is a reasonable expectation to want your family and friends to support you. But it is not always the best solution when you have an area in your life or a situation that calls for outside help and support. The reality is that the dynamic and history you have with people who are closest to you does not always make them better qualified to enter your village.
Who’s in your village right now?
Who would you invite to join your village if you really want to take your life to the next level and live a purposeful life?
Living a life of balance where you are choosing your life moment by moment means making a conscious choice who to include in your team of support and who to get rid of.?
After taking inventory, look at your list of supporters and re-examine each person on your list. What kind of support are you getting from this person? Who drains your energy? Who inspires you? Who’s on your list just because you don’t want to disappoint them?
When you start the process of changing old behaviors and creating the purposeful life you want, you will realize that some of the people who are close to you no longer inspire and energize you.
Getting rid of some of your current supporters and inviting in some new, inspiring people to support you is a normal part of the journey.
Think about people you know, people you interact with regularly, as well as professionals and experts form different areas of life. Choose people who energize, inspire, and uplift your spirit to invite into your village. It might be an actual invitation where you personally ask them for their support. And it may just be that they are part of your support team whether they know it or not.
For example, my husband, some good friends, fellow coaches and healers are in my village, and then there are other people there who live there unaware: Oprah, Iyanla Vanzant, and Brene Brown are examples of this. I get energized and empowered when I listen to them and read their inspirations. Adding them to my village was a definite upgrade.
When you lovingly detach yourself from some of the old relationships that no longer serve you and you welcome in new, inspiring and uplifting people, you upgrade your village.
What about you?
Who would you invite to join your village if you could?
Who may need to go?