How much control do you have over your happiness?
A lot more than you think! You might look at you life and say, there is no way I can be happy with this job or witht his relationship or with this body that I have. You might be one of those people who wake up in the morning to start another ?average? or ?ok? day, not feeling too excited to get out of bed.
Some people have a ?wake up call?. They get sick, go through a divorce them or someone close to them dies.? Something that shakes up their life. They use it as a turning point.
Maybe you haven’t been in this situation, and people look at your life and think that it’s perfect. That’s not how you feel. Something is missing.
Don’t wait for a wake-up call. Choose happiness now.
In the late 1940?s, a group of scientists in the United States and Europe began to study the relationship of feeling and of lifestyle and cancer. Over the years they came to a general agreement that Illness is caused by many factors: genetics, the environment, exposure to other illness, emotional traumas, stress level and more. But a person’s feelings and lifestyle play a role in their recovery process.
Lawrence LeShan, Ph.D., a psychotherapist who has worked with cancer patients for many years, writes in his book Cancer as a turning point: ?If there is one thing we have learned about the immune system, it is that the best way it get it to function on a higher level is to have a life that is full of enthusiasm. [?] Having selected those activities which turn you on, you are treating yourself like as if you are worth really taking care of.?
When I read his book, years ago, I was really touched by the success stories he shares about so many cancer patients who were able to use cancer as a turning point and make changes to live a fuller, richer life. It made me think: Why do people need a wake-up call to change their lives and move into the direction of being fully happy?
For a person to become happier, it requires a complete change of their perception and thinking about themselves and life. We grew up trained toward what we should do rather than what we would enjoy doing; toward what we’re supposed to have in our life rather than what we really want. Our actions are usually based on these ?shoulds? rather than on the question of ?what would fulfill me ? what style of being, relating, creating would bring me to a life of zest??
One of my clients, let’s call her Kim, is going through a challenging transition in her life. She decided to leave a stable job because the in environment in which she worked in felt toxic for her. Overcoming her fears, she made a brave decision to take control over her life and look for another job. Her decision affects not only her, but also her husband and her kids. Her anxiety level is high those days. Let’s just say she is not the happiest woman on earth right now. Would she be able to follow her decision by a positive change and find a good new job?
This week, she spent 10 minutes every day doing something she really loves. 10 minutes, that’s all. For 10 minutes a day she was able to stop thinking about new job and earning money and to be fully present with doing her passion.? She was much happier than she were a week ago. She also created a ?quiet time? routine in the mornings before going to work (still her old job) getting centered and setting an intention for the day.
There are 2 actions you can take to become a happier you:
- Find something you love, something that makes you enthusiastic (what makes you completely zone and forget about the world out when you do it?) and do it regularly!
- Develop a practice of mindfulness, getting centered, being in the moment.
By doing those 2 things, you are choosing happiness. You are moving towards living a fuller, richer life.
Start small: what do you love doing? What makes you centered?