My client, Marilyn, was unhappy this week. She said she couldn’t get herself to work on time. She is always frustrated in the morning and she feels guilty for being late to work. After getting some clarity about what’s really going on, she realized that she is stuck in the same vicious cycle every week:
She spends most of her weekend taking care of others (which she loves doing); she never says no when she’s asked to help and she ends up not preparing for the week like she wants to, and ends up anxious almost every morning. She tries to have her ?alone? time in the morning before she leaves for work: reading and meditating, and also some household chores.
When I asked Marilyn to imagine what it?d be like if she was able to balance taking care of others with taking care of herself as well as taking time to prepare for the week, she came up with the following:
- 4 hours of preparation time every Saturday: laundry, grocery shopping and getting gas for the car. She identified these actions to lessen her anxiety during the week.
- Asking her husband to help her on Saturday.
- Waking up at 6:30 am every morning, spending 30 minutes of quiet/meditation time, having coffee, checking emails, getting dressed and leaving the house by 8:00. No housework on weekdays since she got it done on Saturday.
One of the blocks that Marilyn had was her tendency to always say yes when she is being asked to help, even if it means neglecting her needs.
When we see the connection between our actions and our thinking or beliefs, we can change our thinking and it helps us to change our actions.
If we understand the WHY (why is it hard for me to say no? Why do I end up helping everybody but myself all the time?) it’s a lot easier to get to the HOW (How can I change my mornings so I’m not frustrated).
I helped Marilyn come up with the following affirmation to remind her of the better choices she decided to make. She became very excited to get her life organized and to create balance between taking care of her needs and taking care of others.
Here is Marilyn’s affirmation:
I take care of myself first, so I can better take care of others.
I relieve my anxiety from the workweek by dedicating 4 hours on Saturday to prepare for the week.
I take control over my schedule, rather than allowing y schedule to control me.
Here is a summary of how to be more productive in the morning:
- Identify what stops you from loving your mornings and getting to work on time
- Get clear: why do you want to change it?
- Create an ideal image, but make sure it’s realistic.
- Identify what blocks (external and internal) are preventing you from turning that image to reality.
- Reach out for support ? you don’t have to do it by yourself!
- Try your new plan, evaluate it and change it if needed.
How are your mornings going?
Does anything frustrate you in the mornings? Why? How would you change that?
Would love to hear from you!
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