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For a healthier relationship allow him to be himself

By Michal Spiegelman

For a healthier relationship allow him to be himselfDear Powerful Woman,

As a life-coach and a Balance Expert, I mainly work with women. But I also enjoy working with men and?I have noticed that they get quicker results than women do.

For Father’s day I decided to send a special note to the men in my list, and I want to share it with you.


Here’s the note I sent to the men in my list:

Happy Father’s Day!

Whether you’re a father, a son, a grandfather, or all of the above, this is a day when we women give the spotlight over to you.

And believe me – you deserve to be acknowledged!

As a Balance Expert (and a woman), I know that sometimes the women in your life ask you to do impossible things.

We ask you to read our minds. We ask you to know exactly what we want without us having to say it. We ask you to make yourself gentle and sensitive, but when you do, we want you to “man up”. We ask you to show us appreciation and love in ways don’t even cross your mind. We ask you to be who you are while trying to change you.

For today, I encourage you to be yourself.

Being yourself means connecting to your true gifts, paying attention to the value you bring to people’s lives and feeling confident to show up as the real you in the world.

Being yourself means communicating openly and asking for what you need.

Let the women in your life know how you feel and ask them, in a kind and loving way, to allow you to be yourself.

I am here to support you in any way I can and would love to hear back from you.

Here’s to your life of authenticity and joy!


What encouraged me to write this note is not only the experience I have with couples I work with but also my personal experience being happily married. If I were to measure the level of control I brought into our relationship on a scale of 1 ? 10, it would probably be at 12 when I met my husband and be at 2 now. (I hope he agrees… I’m afraid to ask!)

I used to write birthday cards to my husband saying, ?I love you just the way you are? or ?I love you unconditionally,? but my actions would not match my intention. My actions said: ? I only love you if you change this or fix that.?

Over the years I’ve done some work, cleaned up ?my side of the street,? and I am happy to say that I am doing much better now with allowing him to be real, allowing him to be himself and loving him for who he is, regardless of what he does or doesn’t do.

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Do you find yourself sending conflicting messages to your loved one?

In what ways do you ask him to be himself and try to change him at the same time?

What have you done that has helped you to be more accepting?

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Let’s start a conversation around this. I?d love to hear what’s true for you.

Much Love,


P.S. I truly would love to hear from you so share your insights and feedback below!

Meet Michal
Michal Spiegelman

Michal Spiegelman is Medical Intuitive who helps women get to the root source behind disease, disharmony, imbalance, stress, and trauma-related conditions.

Having studied in Israel, Germany, England, and the U.S., Michal is a Certified Professional Coach, a Reiki Master, and a former social worker who brings years of experience working with a variety of modalities into her intuitive teachings, coaching and mentoring.

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  1. judy

    when I allowed myself to speak free it was obvious that we both were not willing to continue to struggle. Love was there. But I felt left alone. There was no us. It never was. With my courage to work on a relationship he left me. He became sarcastic and mean. Even though we shared the same dream. But I was the only one who really was willing to go for it. I’m so sorry, but I got to know so many men who are lacking courage. Instead they prefer to behave like idiots. Why? I don’t understand this. And we women should look up to such guys and allow them to pretend that everything is fine? No way!

  2. Michal Spiegelman

    Hi Judy, I see where you are coming from and I understand your frustration. Partnership can be very difficult. The truth is that we cannot change other people, and we cannot control their thoughts, feelings and actions. We can only change our-selves and hope they play along. Not always we are successful and life has its ups and downs.
    So what can we do?
    We can do our best! We can be honest with ourselves and learn from the past. We can acknowledge our mistakes because no one is perfect, and we can and must be hopeful because life has so much more to offer to all of us if we just learn from the our past and look forward to our future.

  3. Cindy

    This may sound drastic, but it is not. My boyfriend had a severe brain tumor ten years ago. His survival is a miracle; he actually had a significant part of his brain removed to save his life. Yes, he is still smart, and a fabulous person, but the WAY he thinks has changed. Accepting this is, luckily, easy for me most days. I have learned to deal with the pathways, the routes that he must follow, and they can be frustrating if you do not plan for them. He cannot change. The surgery has limited his choices in not WHAT he thinks (he is brilliant), but how he gets there. However, he is alive against the odds. He loves me, all of me, unconditionally, and his scope is sharpened, not weakened. We accept one another as is. The freedom it allows us within our relationship is remarkable. He is the only man I have ever committed to, yet also felt completely autonomous.

    • Michal Spiegelman

      Wow! what a powerful story and thank you so much for sharing, Cindy. Talking about ACCEPTANCE…you truly chose to accept him for who he is, accepting his limitations. You
      attract the same energy from him to you. Inspiring!


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