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Burned out? Stop being over-responsible.

By Michal Spiegelman

Imagine having all the energy you need, plus some left over.
Imagine feeling motivated and positive, completely in your power.
Imagine feeling free and relaxed, with no burdens on your mind and nothing draining you.



Everyone feels burnout. Read the following scenarios and see if you recognize yourself:

You wake up in the morning in a positive state of mind, ready to start your day. You have a list of things to do, plus a fun activity just for you. But as the day goes on, little things crop up that are out of your control.

A family member wakes up in a bad mood and rattles you a little. You receive a phone call delivering bad news. Someone asks you to do something for them, changing your agenda. On your way to yoga class, you realize you forgot to call your mom, so you feel a strong sense of guilt. You don’t go to yoga and instead spend the hour talking with your mother, or you end up distracted during class.

Any one of these scenarios might look like a page right out of your playbook. For many of us, we have far too many days like this in a given week. You don’t need to lose your power and energy over them! Remember that you cannot control other people and situations, but you can definitely control your reactions.

We all want to feel responsible and in control of our lives. We all want to feel self-assured and in charge. That often means that when someone close to us is hurting, we want to take control of that too.

Taking control of other people’s problems, in other words assuming “over-responsibility”, is a surefire way to burn out. Wanting to help family members through hard times, co-workers with personal problems, and friends who are overwhelmed is natural. Don’t beat yourself up for wanting to fix and change, but remember this:

The key is to take responsibility for your own life and not anyone else’s.

When someone close to you shares what’s going on in their life and more than anything you want to fix things for them, pause for a minute and remind yourself that it their journey and not yours. It might be this obstacle they are facing will turn into a big life lesson. Don’t get in their way. By trying to fix the situation, you are enabling them and preventing them from learning their lesson and growing.

Many of us feel we need to aid and assist everyone we know in every way we can. On the other hand, do we expect others to jump in and help US? The likely answer is no. We (especially women) like to fix things on our own and handle not only our problems, but everyone else’s. We find it difficult to delegate to our children and our spouses. We find it difficult to ask friends for favors. Yet we are the first ones to deliver favors and take on extra tasks. The end result: we experience burnout. Let’s learn to break the cycle.

Think about your own situations: How many times were you frustrated or upset about a negative situation and you ended up learning something valuable from it? How important was it for you to work this out on your own?

Stop taking responsibility for everyone else and reclaim your power. Everyone will win.

The Bottom Line: When you stop taking responsibility for others, you hold onto your power and you allow them to find theirs.
Ask: Who do I take excess responsibility for?
Affirm: I take responsibility for my own life and allow others to find their way.

Meet Michal
Michal Spiegelman

Michal Spiegelman is Medical Intuitive who helps women get to the root source behind disease, disharmony, imbalance, stress, and trauma-related conditions.

Having studied in Israel, Germany, England, and the U.S., Michal is a Certified Professional Coach, a Reiki Master, and a former social worker who brings years of experience working with a variety of modalities into her intuitive teachings, coaching and mentoring.

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1 Comment

  1. Abbs

    Thank you so much for this article.


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