Unhappiness in marriage often has a simple root cause: we speak different love languages, believes Dr. Gary Chapman. While working as a marriage counselor for more than 30 years, he identified five love languages:

• Words of Affirmation
• Quality Time
• Receiving Gifts
• Acts of Service
• Physical Touch

Chapman explains how important it is to speak the love language of your spouse. Our natural tendency is to speak our own love language, and we become confused when our spouse does not understand what we are communicating.

Recently I have been working with a few couples on improving their relationships. The number one challenge they have is communicating effectively. What is it about communication that creates such a big challenge?

Here are some examples of what each language means but it is highly recommended to read the book and understand each Love Language in depth.

Words of Affirmation – verbal compliments, using kind words, making requests ? not demands, compliments in the presence of others.

Quality Time ? giving un-dividing attention, quality conversations, quality activities.

Receiving Gifts ? showing visual symbols of love.

Acts of Service ? doing things you know your spouse would like you to do. Serving your spouse.

Physical Touch ? Some people feel unloved without the physical touch. Holding hands, kissing, embracing and sexual intercourse are all ways of communicating love.

Get this book as soon as you can. Give it is as a gift to your spouse, get her/him excited about taking the assessment, work separately and then together to identify your primary language and use this practical tool to improve your marriage.