We want to be kind, nice, patient. We’ve got it all figured out in our head, until something pushes our buttons. A trigger. The plan is gone and we’re back in our old behaviors. We judge, we criticize and we don’t love ourselves.
What’s next?
We beat ourselves up; we are stuck in self-blame and disappointment.
Our black and white thinking tells us that it’s either all or nothing. That we’re either “good” or we’re “bad”, we’re “right” or we’re “wrong”.
Black and white thinking is so judgmental! No wonder we can’t keep up with our own standards.
It’s the grey area, in between the black and white of ?good? or ?bad?, that can bring us back to center. Finding the middle ground is more loving and compassionate towards ourselves, since we’re not perfect.
This week I had a lot going on emotionally. It threw me out of balance and I followed the above cycle, ended up judging myself and beating myself up.
Why did I do it to myself? Because I’m human, and I forget things that I know.? So I used some of the tools that I have in my toolbox. Meditation, journaling, getting support.? I saw that the reality wasn’t so bad (it’s actually neither good or bad, it simply is what it is). It was the story in my head that made it seem so bad.
I don’t love grey as a color, but I do love it as a reminder that we need to work with the good and the bad, rather than trying to succeed 100% of the time. I actually placed a grey stone on my desk this week to remind me to embrace the grey area.
The Bottom Line: Become more loving and compassionate by changing your ?all or nothing? thinking.
Ask: How does black and white thinking show up in my life right now?
Affirm: I embrace the grey area and I let go of judgment.