Reader Judy asked how to avoid overdoing during the last week before Christmas. For Judy, the last few days before Christmas are stressful. For readers who don’t celebrate Christmas, it is the end of the year that raises their stress level.
It is common to overdo during the holiday season. Here is a short 10 step guide to staying on top of things without getting too stressed out:
- Make a list of everything you NEED do before the end of the year.
- For each item on your list, ask yourself WHY you need to do it, if you need to do it NOW and if you really WANT to.
- Make a new list of things you WANT to do NOW and another list of things you WANT to do LATER.
- Focus on the list of things you WANT to do NOW: looking at your 2010 calendar, put a dead- line next to each item on your list and write it in your calendar.
- Lower your expectations: accept that you are OK and things are OK as they are and you don’t have to be a superwoman / superman. Say to yourself that you don’t need to be perfect. You are perfect as you are.
- Identify any unrealistic expectations you have, that might create an energy block. Here are the most common for this time of year:
? I have to do it all by myself
? It needs to be perfect
? I need to work harder
? I don’t deserve to enjoy
? I don’t deserve to rest
- For each unrealistic expectation you identified, come up with an alternative expectation which is realistic. Write it down and practice saying it our loud, truly believing that this should be your reality.
- Close your eyes and visualize the realistic expectation like it is already happening right now. For instance: if your unrealistic expectation was that your house will be perfect when your mother-in-law is visiting, visualize that you enjoy her visit while your house is ready but not perfect. Visualize yourself confident, relaxed and happily communicating with your mother-in-low. When you visualize, see yourself really enjoying what you’re doing. Stay away from doing things in order to have another check on your to-do list, by adding fun and enjoyment to whatever you do.
- Take some actions to nurture and energize yourself. (Have a massage, take a bath, nap, etc).It will help you relax and focus on what’s really important for you this time of the year.
- Decide on a symbol (an image or a word) that would remind you of your wish to be A HUMAN BEING rather than a HUMAN DOING. For example: the word BE or JUST BE. Draw this word with your finger on different places: your kitchen counter, your knee, a piece of paper, etc. as a reminder of your intention.
As always ? I am sure you will come up with more creative ideas for things you can do (or be…) to avoid overdoing. I would appreciate if you write a comment.
I am the oldest of a family of six kids. As a child, our grandmother rejoiced in hosting all of her seven kids’ families for a big holiday meal and carol sing and gift exchange. We were a close family and still enjoy getting together several times a year, even tho there are just four left of the original six.
My husband and I live in an Independent Adult Facility which supplies us with many activities and all our meals, if we choose to eat in the dining room. Therefore, my activities are mostly sedentary. Lately I have become concerned that I have lost a good deal of my strength and energy. For our annual Christmas get together, we surveyed all families involved and determined that my husband and I were the only ones with access to enough room to hold the event. I became the organizer. First rule: potluck, and definitely let me know if you are coming and what you will bring to the party, including any extra guests you’re bringing.
For the two weeks ahead of time, I made a list of what I wanted to contribute and how far in advance I could finish that chore. Some things, of course, needed to wait until the last minute, but other important bits could be ready to go in advance.
Needing to push myself, and doing just what I wanted to do, (acknowledging that I really wanted to do whatever it took to make this event run smoothly) gave me strength and energy I didn’t know I still had. My husband, on the other hand, watched me flitting around, and grew upset at my activity. He is determined that we will not do this again.
A psychologist friend once told me, “I don’t think you realize the amount of stress you’re under.” I asked him,” Is it stress if I don’t feel it?” He didn’t answer. He was looking at my life situation, with two disabled sons that I advocated for (and found all kinds of abilities in myself I would never have discovered if I hadn’t needed them!) I also learned that I function best under a modest amount of pressure. Is that a bad thing?
i